Building Emotional Regulation Skills in Young Children
Emotional regulation is the ability to recognize, understand, and manage emotions in a healthy way. In early childhood, this skill is still developing and requires patience, guidance, and consistent support from both caregivers and families. Learning how to manage big feelings is a key part of Social-Emotional Learning (SEL) and lays the foundation for positive behavior, relationships, and learning.
What Is Emotional Regulation?
Emotional regulation means helping children learn how to:
● Identify their feelings
● Express emotions safely
● Calm their bodies when they feel overwhelmed
● Respond to challenges in appropriate ways
Young children are not born with these skills they develop them over time through nurturing relationships and repeated practice.
Why Emotional Regulation Is Challenging for Young Children:
Strong emotions can feel overwhelming to young children because their brains are still developing. When feelings become too big, children may cry, yell, withdraw, or act impulsively. This is a normal part of development.
Common Reasons Children Struggle With Emotional Regulation:
1. Limited Language Skills
Young children often feel emotions before they have the words to describe them. When they can’t explain how they feel, emotions may come out through behavior.
2. Brain Development
The parts of the brain responsible for self-control and problem-solving are still growing. Children need adult support to help guide them through emotional moments.
3. Overstimulation or Fatigue
Busy environments, transitions, hunger, or lack of rest can make it harder for children to manage their emotions.
4. Big Changes or New Experiences
Separation from caregivers, new routines, or social challenges can increase emotional stress.
How Child Care Programs Support Emotional Regulation:
High quality child care programs use developmentally appropriate strategies to help children build emotional regulation skills in a safe and supportive way.
Calm and Responsive Guidance
Caregivers respond with patience and understanding by:
● Staying calm during emotional moments
● Acknowledging children’s feelings
● Using gentle, reassuring language
This helps children feel safe and supported.
Teaching Emotional Awareness
Caregivers help children learn to recognize emotions by:
● Naming feelings (“You look frustrated.”)
● Reading books about emotions
● Using visual emotion charts
● Modeling healthy emotional responses
Helping Children Practice Self Calming Skills
Children are guided to use age appropriate calming strategies such as:
● Deep breathing
● Taking a quiet break
● Using sensory tools
● Asking for help
These skills are practiced regularly, not just during emotional moments.
Creating Predictable Routines
Consistent schedules and clear expectations help children feel secure, reducing emotional stress and frustration.
How Parents Can Support Emotional Regulation at Home:
Families play a vital role in strengthening emotional regulation skills.
Parents can support learning at home by:
● Talking about emotions throughout the day
● Modeling calm responses to stress
● Encouraging children to use words instead of actions
● Offering comfort during emotional moments
● Keeping routines consistent
● Praising efforts to manage feelings
When children see adults managing emotions calmly, they learn by example.
Is Difficulty With Emotional Regulation Normal?
Yes. Emotional regulation develops gradually throughout early childhood. Occasional meltdowns, frustration, or emotional outbursts are expected as children learn how to manage their feelings.
Over time, children build:
● Stronger self-control
● Better communication skills
● Increased emotional awareness
● Healthier coping strategies
With consistent support from caregivers and families, emotional regulation skills continue to grow.
