Understanding School-Age Bullying: A Guide for Parents and Caregivers
Bullying can occur during the school-age years, typically between ages 5 and 12, as children spend more time in social settings and peer groups. While bullying is not considered a normal or acceptable behavior, it is a common challenge many schools and families face. Understanding what bullying looks like, why it happens, and how schools respond can help parents support their children effectively.
What Is School-Age Bullying?
Bullying is repeated behavior intended to hurt, intimidate, or exclude another child. It can take different forms, including:
● Physical bullying (hitting, pushing, damaging belongings)
● Verbal bullying (name-calling, teasing, threats)
● Social bullying (spreading rumors, exclusion, embarrassment)
● Cyberbullying (hurtful messages or posts online)
Bullying often involves a power imbalance, where one child feels unable to defend themselves.
Why Bullying Happens:
Children may engage in bullying for various reasons. Understanding these causes helps adults respond appropriately.
1. Difficulty Managing Emotions
Some children struggle with anger, jealousy, or frustration and may act out toward others.
2. Desire for Control or Attention
Bullying can be a way for a child to feel powerful or noticed, especially if they lack positive attention elsewhere.
3. Peer Influence
Children may bully to fit in with friends or copy behaviors they see around them.
4. Lack of Social Skills
Some children have not yet learned empathy, conflict resolution, or respectful communication.
5. Stress or Challenges at Home or School
Major changes, academic pressure, or family stress can sometimes lead to negative behaviors.
Why Bullying Happens:
Schools take bullying seriously and use age-appropriate, proactive strategies to keep children safe.
Immediate Support
When bullying is reported or observed, staff typically:
● Ensure the safety of the child involved
● Separate students if needed
● Listen calmly and respectfully
● Document the incident
● Inform parents when appropriate
Teaching, Not Shaming
Rather than punishment alone, schools focus on:
● Teaching empathy and accountability
● Helping children understand the impact of their actions
● Encouraging positive behavior change
Monitoring and Prevention
Educators work to:
● Identify patterns or repeated incidents
● Increase supervision in high-risk areas
● Promote kindness and inclusion
● Create clear expectations for behavior
Social-Emotional Learning
Programs often include lessons on:
● Respectful communication
● Problem-solving
● Emotional regulation
● Standing up for oneself and others safely
How Parents Can Support Their Child:
Parents play a key role in preventing and addressing bullying.
You can help by:
● Encouraging open communication (“Tell me about your day”)
● Taking concerns seriously and listening without judgment
● Teaching empathy and respectful behavior at home
● Practicing assertive responses and confidence-building skills
● Working collaboratively with teachers and school staff
If your child is being bullied, reassure them that it is not their fault and that adults are there to help.
Is Bullying a Long-Term Issue?
With early intervention and consistent support, bullying can be reduced and often stopped. As children develop:
● Stronger social skills
● Emotional awareness
● Empathy
● Conflict-resolution abilities
They become better equipped to build healthy relationships.
